The Reality, Signs and Wonders of Friend Zoning

Friend zoning happens when an individual in some kind of platonic relationship, only gets position of a friendship. Whereas the individual assumes that he or she is in a romantic relationship with another. In short, what he has in mind about the relationship is different from what the other person has.


Tunde came to my place yesterday looking dejected and gloomy. After much probing and inducement, he finally opened up to me. A lady he has been going out with(according to him) embarrassed him publicly by denying him in front of his families, insisting they she was not dating him. He was shocked to the bone marrow and left there in shame.

Then I asked him a question: Did you ever ask her out and what was her response? His reply was that they have been very close for close to two months and he really liked her, and he even bought her things among other favours, he said he assumed that since both of them are always together and they do things together, he assumed they were dating. I smiled dryly and shook my head in dismay. Has this ever happened to you before? Have you ever been in friend zoning position before?

Most times, it is the guy in a relationship that is in friend zoning, albeit some times this occurrence also happens to the female folks. Now my discourse today is going to be about men in a friend zoning position, since most time we are the victims. We have to be careful and not let vain love and infatuation blind us.

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Signs to give us a nudge that we are in a friend zoning position

  1. The lady always uses this same cliché whenever she introduces you to her friends and family;” He is just a friend or he is a big brother” And you will be like in your mind, what is he saying, aint we going out?.Man, whenever you hear this sentence you have been put in a loo, run!
  2. She is always telling you about all her toasters and asking you advice on relationship matters. She even informs you that her ex-boyfriend is disturbing her. When a lady is really interested in you, she won’t even make mention any ex to avoid jelousy, she won’t want to scare you, she wants you to be for her alone!
  3. She does not allow physical or intimate contact when both of you are alone. This is self explanatory when you see this red flag ,it means she just likes you as a friend but does not want to be romantically involved with you.
  4. Whenever a lady is always trying to hook you up with one of her friends or female coursemates,it sure means she wants to give you away. Think of this, how is it that someone that loves you will want to share you with someone else? Does that make sense? Guys be wise!

Whenever you find yourself in any of these positions, take a step back. Prevention is better than cure, so let me give you a few tips on how to prevent the friend zoning tactics of a lady;

  1. Always be blunt when starting any relationship. no what you want and go after it. If you see any lady you want, ask her out!!! Don’t just be around her like a bodyguard, are you one?If you want to date her ask her and please get a response!!!.If she is thinking about it, pester her till you hear yes or no. Know your stand!
  2. Please guys need to stop been “nice guys”. Ladies like good men with strong will and personalities. What they do not want is a man that will do everything she says and wants. Men have to be a man most times and take control of situations. You have to insist on certain things, that is what makes you a am, no lady wants to date another lady!
  3. Be mysterious and do not reveal all information about yourself or family to a lady that you have not dated. Strange men interest ladies, because of fascination. Just give them little to keep them going, and keep the remaining to yourself. Do not come too cheap guys, have some worth!
  4. Take her on dates, and let her get the hint that you have interest in her. Surprise her with dates and even bring gifts to the death, during each dates let her know your plans for the future with her, in doing this you are giving a peep into what you want for her and she will get it, Ladies are highly perceiving. Spend the money if you can!
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Guys in conclusion, don’t be taken for a ride, don’t be too gentle, be assertive with over controlling, if you notice she is not into you, please kindly leave her and go for someone that cherishes you. Reject been use as an extra tire or a waste bin. Have a self worth and be the man that ladies want.



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